Boundaries With Kids; A Book Review

If you’ve been following my social media, you know that my life changed drastically in June. To face this challenge, I read several books to help. This challenge?

Samuel was born.

One of the books I got was Boundaries With Kids. Though at the time of this post publishing, he’s only 6 months old.

I look ahead, though, so today we’ll look at…

Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

“Keys for establishing healthy boundaries–the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for children and adults.

To help their children grow into healthy adults, parents need to teach them how to take responsibility for their behavior, their values, and their lives. The authors of the Gold Medallion Award-winning book Boundaries bring their biblically-based principles to bear on the challenging task of child rearing, showing parents:

* how to bring control to an out-of-control family life

* how to set limits and still be loving parents

* how to define legitimate boundaries for the family

* how to instill in children a godly character.”

I’ve seen some adults that still depend on and freeload off their parents. I don’t want Sam to do that, nor do I want to do to Sam what my dad did to me.

He kicked me out. 

I was perfectly capable of living independently, even had a place I didn’t stay at. Home with them was just comfortable. 

So my dad set a boundary, and a date, saying on this day in a month, you won’t live here anymore. 

I moved out and loved it. But I digress. We’re talking about a book. I have a hard copy, so the quotes won’t be in my review. Unlike the Boundaries review, this builds on the previous chapters. 

It opens up with three chapters explaining what character looks like and that kids need parents with boundaries. I can say that’s a fact because when Sam cries, he looks so pitiful that I will do almost anything to get that bottom lip to stop sticking out. 

Part two is ten boundary principles kids need to know. 

  1. What Will Happen If I Do This? The Law of Sowing and Reaping
  2. Pulling My Own Wagon. The Law of Responsibility
  3. I Can’t Do It All, But I’m Not Helpless, Either. The Law of Power
  4. I’m Not The Only One Who Matters. The Law of Respect
  5. Life Beyond “Because I’m the Mommy.” The Law of Motivation
  6. Pain Can Be a Gift. The Law of Evaluation
  7. Tantrums Needn’t Be Forever. The Law of Proactivity
  8. I Am Happier When I Am Thankful. The Law of Envy
  9. Jumpstarting My Engine. The Law of Activity
  10. Honesty Is the Best Policy. The Law of Exposure

It ends with the six steps to implementing boundaries with your kid. 

It has parts for different development levels for kids with an eye towards natural consequences for a child’s actions and slowly giving them more responsibility and choices. 

One idea I like is giving a kid choices that you’re okay with, so they are empowered and can take ownership of it. 

Five stars for new parents, parents, and anyone that works with kids.

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