Dealing With The Root of Anger

adult anger angry angry face

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What makes you angry? What really ticks you off? Think about it for a moment.

Is it when you’re cut off in traffic? Or when someone interrupts you? Is it when someone says or does something you don’t like?

Things didn’t go how you expected so you didn’t get what you want.


We get angry because we don’t get what we want.

Anger can be a problem, but is it wrong? Not always.

It depends on if it’s aimed at wrongdoing or if we’re just throwing a tantrum. Anger can be used as fuel. That fuel can destroy everything. There’s a balance that’s needed.

As far as I can tell, the root is we don’t get what we want, so we get angry.

I’ve been naming my emotions and asking myself why I feel them lately. It’s a tool from the Emotionally Healthy Leadership book for facing your shadow side.

A usual example is when I’m waiting in the car, and my wife isn’t ready yet. I get angry.


I wanted to leave at a certain time. I didn’t get what I wanted.

How do we deal with this?

Some philosophies want you to suppress your desires. No desire means no pain, no suffering, no anger, but also no happiness or joy. Just being.

What’s a Christian response?

It depends on what you’re angry at. You can be angry and not sin. For example, you don’tpuzzled-face-man-00-1 think human trafficking is right and shouldn’t happen. When it happens, you’re not getting what you want. It’s not a selfish want.

Desire is good.

There are times we have to deny ourselves, times we have to sacrifice our preferences.

The key isn’t suppressing our emotions. We just don’t let ourselves be led by them either.

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