Achieving Oneness With Your Spouse; Day 2 of WTR

“Oneness grows as we receive our spouse as a gift from God.”

That’s what greeted my slightly caffeinated eyes on the second day of Weekend to Remember. It’s a familiar principle that I remember from the Art of Marriage conference our church did in 2014.

The question is how to achieve this ‘oneness’ they kept talking about?

Oneness

To start, you have to leave your parents by establishing your independence from them. You can’t be overly dependent on anyone or any attachment. Your spouse is the primary relationship.

Then you have to commit totally to your spouse. That’s called ‘receiving your spouse’, and its a daily thing. When we attended the Art of Marriage, the metaphor that was used was that receiving your spouse was like catching the football and running with it.

You have to choose to do it, and then you tuck it protectively in your arms and run.

I see memes on Facebook saying marriage isn’t 50/50. That’s true. Marriage isn’t a contract and if your spouse doesn’t do                           you can leave them because they didn’t fulfill their part of the contract.

Receiving isn’t based on their performance. I wrote this quote in the margin from one of the speakers; “We have to debunk the myth that anyone has it all together.”

It’s true, we’re all broken. Our Facebook page, Instagram, or Twitter pages are nothing but highlight reels.

Finally, it’s about establishing intimacy with one another. That’s not just talking about sex, but a process that starts and continues as we leave past attachments and grow closer together.

Easy For You To Say

In the past, we had issues with leaving past attachments, so it’s not so easy. It’s insane how much of polar opposites me and Casey are.  I’m introverted, she’s extroverted. She’s emotional, I’m stoic. I’m a planner and love routine, she’s impulsive.

Together they balance out. She pulls me into social settings and I learn to be more comfortable in them, though I need a nap afterward. She breaks me out of my shell and I help calm her down. She forces me into situations I’m not sure about but end up enjoying.

This causes friction, and fights will happen. After lunch, we learned how to fight. That’s the next post in this series.

Our friends’ blog posts about Weekend To Remember:

 

• And they lived Happily Ever After
• WTR – Day 1
• WTR – Day 2 Part 1
• WTR – Day 2 Part 2
• Marriage after Dark – WTR Day 2 Part 3
• WTR – Date Night
• WTR – Day 3