If you read the Emotional Vampire post where I discovered my OCD vampire tendencies to lecture, criticize, and loom. I can be downright puritanical. That particular vampire tried to come out of its coffin again until I sat on the lid. Generally, it stays bottled up and runs as what I call “internal script scenarios” that play out in my head and get me worked up. After watching one situation play out with family, I had a lot of personal opinions and judgments. My brain was in full-blown lecture mode and I was suffering through it and what should I do.
During the last break of the night I go on my walks outside, it is my quiet time with the Creator. As I walked I poured my heart out, I just wanted to leave, and be done with the stress. I stopped, staring at the stars and asked what to do? I would take anything, a feeling, scripture, what? It got quiet, I stood in the shadow of the building staring at the ground, quietly, silently pleading, and waiting. I got the impression I should read the third chapter in the book of James. I pulled out my phone and opened the Bible app, read two verses and had to sit…
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers; because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” (James 3:1-2 NIV)
This is why when it comes to the supernatural my walls are coming down. It fit perfectly though I never read this book in the bible so I did not know what was there. I do not believe in God because I was halfway brought up in the church, it is because of experiences like this one. With pen and paper, I delved deeper into the chapter to see an immediate application and later with some quiet thought, a deeper sense of something else.
For the situation at hand, it was clear to me that I am to be quiet. Anything I could have said I had said before, it would just create more problems. Just close the lighter and back away slowly from the gas-soaked wood.
In the deeper sense, I had been wondering what I could do to help people, toying with the idea of being a counselor. With this, I do not think I should teach, the standards are high and words are powerful. I could hurt more than help, so that door closes until I am ready if at all. The last part of the chapter goes into a good life, helping others as needed.
I do not know if Pastor Jaime realized when she suggested I read Immediate Obedience, she gave me a way to do just that. It has a 90-Day Challenge to serve God at his urging, so I started a separate blog to track that adventure. To follow along you can go to firstsamuel1224.wordpress.com.
It is a bit scary, and I am admittedly nervous, something the book’s author echoed. He saw himself “On Call” with God as his King and commanding officer. I could make a Captain America reference here but I will restrain myself…this time.