The last time I searched my soul with the intent to change for the better it was enlightening just poorly executed. I had the right idea, just going the wrong direction, before it was a matter of what I have and how to make it fit. This time I went for top down planning, have everything fit under the easily remembered personal Motto and Mission Statement, with some additions from last time. First I needed a way to deal those around me and with myself; followed by a communication method and principle to deal with others and set personal boundaries. I am extremely introverted so my social skills are rusty enough I have to work actively at them.
Let’s delve into the first four levels, starting with a motto I believe in enough I am considering tattooing onto my forearm.
“Rudeness is weak man’s imitation of strength.”
The overarching way I want to deal with people, I do not have to use bravado, or verbally and/or physically mistreat anyone to “show how tough I am.” That is not being tough, that is an insecure bully.
Then there is the Mission Statement, what I filter all my decisions through to make sure I stay on course, if it takes away from it then the answer is no.
“To love, care, and protect my wife, and those under my wing; helping those I can with whatever I have.”
It is shorter and written in order of importance, Casey, chosen family, and those around me with a limit to my aid if you stretch yourself to thin, you will not be of use to anyone.
This time I added personal philosophy; dealing with myself and how to be in the world, choosing after using the principles to deal with the accident’s aftermath, Roman Stoicism. It blended with virtue ethics and deontology after reading A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy and The Virtues of Captain America: Modern-Day Lessons on Character from a World War II Superhero. I distilled what I can absorb and put to use. The Stoic philosophy has methods to minimize all my negative tendencies so I can focus on being the best person I can be. I will get into the how of it in a later post.
The last part I will touch on is linked to the previous except with a focus on interpersonal relationships. Conflict Communications and The Secret Blend taught me people skills, blended with Stoic principles to calm the monkey brain. My personal golden rule with people and myself is ‘do what you will as long as it doesn’t hurt or enslave anyone, if you cannot do this then you will be stopped.’
So that is the first half, the second deals with the problems I had of living up to my principles.