Socializing the Awkward

A couple of weeks ago I was given a book on cultivating relationships, mostly because I am an unsocialized introvert. I do not really know what to say in social situations, I just watch and creep people out until they say something to get a reaction out of me.

It’s titled Secret Blend; in it are seven lessons, most which mesh well with what I am learning from ConCom and Stoic Principles. The first lesson dealt with being a good friend to yourself. That was interesting, still thinking on that one, however I do wonder if it means you cannot treat others well until you can treat yourself well.

Make sense?

That is the foundation; lesson two is the ground floor, becoming a friend. What does that even mean? My theory, being someone you would want to be friends with. The difference between the first two lessons is the focus, outward and inward.

The third lesson correlated with Conflict Communications; encouraging others daily which makes you feel better and gains friends. I tied that with the ability to cross tribal/group boundaries by treating everyone with respect to find that you can move almost effortlessly between cultures and subcultures.

Lesson 4 also tied into ConCom, it is simply the active listening technique instead of waiting to reply. Street level intelligence gathering as Rory called it. Lesson 5 brought to mind stoicism’s levels of control, forgiveness. If you do not do it, the grudge will turn into a cancer eating your enjoyment of life. You can control how you handle it, or try to influence others, though ultimately that is their choice. In the grand scheme of things how important is the transgression based on the scale of your lifetime.

Sixth lesson was about laughing and not taking yourself too seriously, it is supposed to attract others. Well, how fun is someone when they are moody? I think it also has a hand in keeping your ego in check as well.

Final lesson, learn how to say I love you; the key is to mean it. I know full well how short and abruptly taken away life is, do not miss an opportunity to show that. Overall, it was a good book that hooked me, glad Jaime gave me a copy.