This will be bits and pieces of the Week 22 excerpt from Ronin’s Journey. It’s more raw emotion than advice and suggestions.
It is the week of Christmas, an emotional rollercoaster for all of us. People are creatures of habit, traditions are practically sacrosanct, and when they are broken, it seems to cause an internal conflict. This being the first Christmas without my godson life had a big hole in it. Why decorate? Why shop? Really was not in the mood for all the socializing with few exceptions like out of town family coming in. That was fun to see them and our Christmas Day was a Christmas movie, hot chocolate and brownies, creating our own tradition to fill the gap the best it could….It started out well enough, felt good, and felt more accepted, spending time with the nieces and nephews along with giving advice to Casey’s stepsister on publishing. Had a night where I was particularly proud of my wife as a hostess, enjoying the company of her mom and stepdad….We were invited to a few social events and declined them all from friends and family alike. If you were not a friend then you got a taste of my bluntness, with greetings soliciting a terse ‘yes’ from me, I wanted people to get to the point. I had a lot of anger inside and it came out in quite a few ways, from putting the energy into heavy lifts with my kettlebell to trying to drive my middle finger through the windshield of the car when someone pulled in front of me in the fast lane and slowed down.
Then the ‘joys’ of a vivid flashback that sent me to my 250lb stand-up heavy bag to release that feeling into a punch that almost toppled it.